Seasons Summer
by jino turtlegod
Summary: Summer is the season of the Sun. And yet for a time of joyous play, heavy hearts and clouded spirits abound.
1. Summer Eternal

The whole world was underwater.

Or so it seemed due to the shimmering heat of summer.  The very air was burning hot, each breath tasted of roasted pavement and other things left too long in the sun.   The young man walked purposefully towards his destination, his white collarless shirt was pasted to his body with his sweat and he could feel the uncomfortable sensation of his jeans starting to stick to his legs.  He carried a sports bag over his head as a makeshift sun shield.  He knew he looked weird but it was better than having his brains roasted.

He saw his destination; a two storey apartment building with a small courtyard.  He began running towards it, anticipating getting out of the sun and in front of his air conditioner.  He stopped by the main door as he fumbled for his key card.  The slim plastic slipped through his sweaty fingers and he knelt down to pick it up.

He froze as his fingers touched the plastic.

Across the street, a girl wearing white stood under a white parasol.

The young man swore that the girl had blue hair and red eyes.

**Shin Seiki Evangelion - Seasons**

**Natsu**** – Summer Eternal**

Neon Genesis Evangelion created by, registered, and copyrighted to GAINAX Project EVA, Movic, and any other company and/or division associated with the creation and/or production of Neon Genesis Evangelion. A.D.Vision holds the copyrights to the English version of Neon Genesis Evangelion. This work of fiction is not intended for any commercial purposes but was created for the entertainment of the Author and Fans of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

No copyright infringement was in any way intended.

Seasons written by Jino Turtlegod

M Rating. For mature readers only. Some scenes, themes, language, and situations are not suitable for younger readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Ver 1 – 22 APR 08

**Natsu**** – Summer Eternal**

The house feels empty.

Empty Nest Syndrome.  I think that's what's it called.

My children have grown up and spread their wings.  Unfortunately they had flown off in different directions.  The little twits.

Everything had been going on as anticipated, my boy was going to college.  He had already made arrangements for his own apartment in a distant city with enough space for my girl.  Odd.  Now that I think about it, it does seem strange that my children were a match made in Heaven – though I have a feeling that Heaven has a grudge against us.  Well, they're not really blood related.  And we're probably borderline dysfunctional.  So yeah, even though I have a nagging suspicion that they go at it like wild rabbits when I'm gone, I don't really think that there's anything wrong with it.  Because even though we were a family and they look up to me as a mother figure, they never really looked at each other as siblings.  So it's ok for them to have se... y'know... an adult relationship since they're not brother and sister.  Hmmm. Yeah.  That reasoning works... I think I'll get myself a beer.

But I was really surprised when I came home and she was on the way out.  A wheeled luggage in one hand and a large sports bag over the other shoulder.  They were not scheduled to move out until after graduation a couple of weeks from then.

"Running away?"  I had asked.

"You won't know," she replied with downcast eyes, those damnable mirrored shades of hers preventing me from reading her eyes.

"Try me."

"I need to find myself.  I can't give him a broken china doll."

"What?!  But aren't you together?"

"I never really answered him."  It was a good thing she had a tinge of shame in her voice.  I would have smacked her for that.

"And what would you do if while you're out there finding yourself, someone snatches him up?!"

"Then it was not meant to be."  She lifted her glasses with one hand and wiped her tears on the sleeve of the other. I knew that her eyes were mismatched since it all ended several years ago.  But that day, both eyes were red from crying.

I couldn't stop her, and we both knew it.

"Please tell him not to follow me, and I really mean it.  This isn't some drama where the girl says 'no' but wants the boy to follow her to the ends of the earth.  I need to find myself.  I need to know who I really am."

When he came home I told him what she told me.

It wasn't pretty watching someone's world come tumbling down.  The happy smile he had when he said 'Tadaima!' caved into itself.  He crumpled to the floor and sobbed silently, his tears pooled on the wooden floor.  All I could do was to kneel by his side and rub his back as he cried.  I felt so useless. 

I regret not shooting her in the leg so that she couldn't leave. 

But who am I kidding. 

I could never hurt either of them.

It took nearly a week before I called in the cavalry.  Shinji was saved from a quagmire of self pity and despair and continued on to graduate and live happily ever after – hooray.

Eh?  My phone's ringing.  I look at the caller ID.

"Shinji?  How's the move?"

"Calm down, and no, I'm not drunk.  I'm just slightly inebdeb... inebriateted... Oh, fine, yeah, I'm a little buzzed."

"Rei?  I don't really know where she is.  The Commander is very efficient in covering up his tracks."

"Hmmm.  Yeah.  I still have some contacts in the UN.  I'll try to see what I can turn up.  Have you called Ken-kun?"

"I'm a bit hurt that you called him before you called me..."

I smile as my boy stuttered over the phone.  It's still fun to tease him.  I calmed him down and assured him that I was just teasing him.  After some light chitchat, I called several people requesting for some information on a girl with blue hair and red eyes that disappeared several years ago.  I doubt anyone can find her.  The Commander took her and I doubt that he'll allow both of them to be found unless he wanted them found.  He's a bastard like that.

All I can do is sigh.  But Hell.  My blood is flowing.  I love a challenge.

I clean up the apartment as a way of burning off the excess adrenaline.  It was a way of keeping my hands busy while my mind tried to process the probabilities.  I was in the middle of making a mental list of people whom the Commander might have contacted when I noticed that I was in Asuka's room, throwing some garbage into a garbage bag.  My hand was on a strange rectangular piece of plastic.  It had a white line in a groove in the middle and had a chemical smell.  There were blue lines on the white line.   I've never seen one before since I never needed it (I can't have children) but I knew what it was.  After several more minutes of rummaging around I found the packaging box and the instructions.

Oh fuck.

Tsu Zu Ku


	2. Dear

**Shin Seiki Evangelion - Seasons**

**Natsu**** – Dear**

Neon Genesis Evangelion created by, registered, and copyrighted to GAINAX Project EVA, Movic, and any other company and/or division associated with the creation and/or production of Neon Genesis Evangelion. A.D.Vision holds the copyrights to the English version of Neon Genesis Evangelion. This work of fiction is not intended for any commercial purposes but was created for the entertainment of the Author and Fans of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

No copyright infringement was in any way intended.

Seasons written by Jino Turtlegod

M Rating. For mature readers only. Some scenes, themes, language, and situations are not suitable for younger readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Ver 1 – 05 MAY 08

**Natsu**** – Dear**

_Dear_

The woman paused, her pen's tentative scratching once more at a halt. She had been at this for an hour. Several pages from the notebook, brand new and still smelling of the paper mill, were scrunched into balls on the cafe table. She tapped the end of her pen against lips. With a sigh, she puts down the pen and sips from her mug of chocolate. She would kill for a latte, but it wouldn't be good for... with a flash of inspiration, she puts down the mug and picks up the pen.

_Dear Little One,_

The woman smiles and congratulates herself.

_I'm sure that one day, you will be told of this little episode in the life of your mother. I would rather that you would read it from here rather than hear it from someone else, most especially - God forbid – a me who has forgotten this day._

_Thus I'm writing this diary, for you and to remind me of how I am right now. In the future, if you ever need to talk to me regarding the contents of this diary, do not forget to bring this. I fear I may need to slap myself with it._

_I'm not a good person. Most people would tell you that. Even _

The woman paused, deliberating on the next few words.

_Even your father would tell you that. Whatever his feelings for me, I don't believe that he will cover up that part of me. Your father is a good man. He may be weak, indecisive, and underhanded at times, but he is a good man. He is the first person other than my mother who loved me unconditionally. I wish I could love him back the way that he deserves. But I find that I cannot. There is a part of me that I do not want to share with him. _

_It is the dark, rotten, corruption that lives in my heart._

_For some time now, I have thought of your father as the light, and I'm the dark. And I'm so afraid that he would become dirty like me if he finds out about that side of me. Several years before, your father and I were involved in something. Don't let anyone tell you that we were heroes, those who do are idiots. Those who tell you that we were villains, they too are idiots. We were just kids doing what we were supposed to. And in the course of that, we found out things about ourselves. Things that we do not want to be found._

_You see, even though I love your father. There is a part of me that hates him._

"Asuka."

The woman looked up from her writing. "Madeleine, is it time?" Asuka said in German, a language that she had grown up with but had rare opportunity to practice over the last few years.

"Yes, our appointment is in fifteen minutes," Madeleine replied as she checked her watch. The other woman was younger than Asuka and had black hair, but she shared eyes the color of the free sky. She watched Asuka finish her chocolate and then stow her notebook into her purse.

000

_Today I had a visit with a doctor. I do so hate them, but I think I like this one, she reminds me so much of a woman whom I consider as my second mother. No, not your Grandma Liesel. I don't really consider her my mother. For years, I had always thought of her as the woman who stole Mama's husband (I have long since stopped thinking of that bastard as my father, and your Aunt Madeleine agrees). Someday, if you ever meet Misato, give her a kiss from me. Then call her Grandma. Do not forget to take a picture of her face right after you say that._

_Doctor Bertha told me all of the joys of motherhood that awaits me for the next eight and half months or so. I so do not look forward to them. I'm thankful that I have your Aunt Madeleine and Grandma Liesel's support on this. Ever since she got divorced, I've started to like your Grandma, I think after this, I'll consider her my third mother._

_Anyway, I really feel weird about this whole motherhood stuff. When I was younger, I never planned on having children, but the moment I found out I was going to have you, I had this sudden feeling of despair. I went home and bought one of those home pregnancy kits. I used up all five tests in the box, each time hoping that the previous test was wrong. It's not that I do not want you. It's just like how I feel about your father: I'm not sure I deserve you. They say babies are little bundles of joy. I don't think I really deserve you. _

_I will give birth to you but if I send you to your father, I pray that you will not think badly of me._

Asuka stops and her hand moves to her face to remove her glasses so that she can wipe away her tears on the sleeves of her usual oversized sweater. She is a bit surprised to find that she was no longer wearing her shades. The young redhead remembers when she last wore them and smiles.

She didn't want him to follow her.

So why did she leave a trail?

Tsu Zu Ku

A.N.

Shinji was supposed to have been next but I couldn't get the ball rolling, the words just won't come out right. Hopefully, the next one won't take too long and won't be drabble length.


End file.
